sometimes we can connect with a powerful creative energy by committing to a production deadline. but it is not an energy for the timid or the “control happy,” for it is an energy that truly takes control.
last night our Girl determined that a particular audio clip was going to be “finished” one way or another. the larger picture is that she has four more pieces to write and the artist has expressed, at least implied, a desire to get 10 pieces posted on the site in a reasonable amount of time. Unfortunately, our Girl bit off a little more than she could chew with her most recent composition. Her choice of instruments demanded a level of technical competency with respect to the mixing that is not yet at her command.
But to scrap the whole piece would set her back on the whole project, and she is determined to move forward. So she struggled last night for hours, staying up later than usual, to somehow find solutions for a mix that wouldn’t mix. The adrenaline started pumping. This was not a night about calm, relaxed, thoughtful baby steps. It was about trying radical fixes to get to the end. It was about shifting directions radically in terms of instrument choices, and what tracks to keep in and out.
The voices were loud in her head. The furrow was deep in her graceful brow. The swearing was internalized to give her son the impression that she was calm, cool and collected. But swearing she was.
This kind of emotion is like nitroglycerin. It will either blow a hole through the mountain or through you, and maybe both. In this case, allowing for this rather unbridled energy to prevail led our Girl finally to a solution which was a compromise she can live with and which allows her to move forward. The fact of creating a pressurized situation created a fast forward in terms of problem solving. She learned very quickly about some audio characteristics of various instruments which gave her enough new information to make some helpful mixing choices. And this raw energy did not permit her to dally for long on details or niceties, which was a good thing given the imperative to reach the end.
Engaging in this experience requires us to let go in a very big way. By nature, we are very much involved with controlling and monitoring our creative process. We seek to create stable internal and external environments that nurture a slow but steady growth and progress in our work. If this is in fact your normal foundation, your normal modus operandi, then you may surprise yourself with this occasional capacity to let your hair down and roll down the hill with abandon, trusting that you can bear the stones or rocks you may hit along the way. And you will bear it, and you will be rewarded with special learning and great self-confidence.
But you may find, also, that the day after calls for a bit of wound licking. You may be a bit exhausted, or perhaps still a bit wound up, and needing to work through the energy in your more reasonable and regular routines. This day after can also be very rich in its way, as you carry the raw energy and unique learning from your walk on the wild side back into your routine.
Build a strong, steady ship. Then jump overboard now and then. You will give those sharks a run for their money and your Shipmate will pull you back on board in the end.