For those of us inclined to lifetime learning and personal growth, the notion of relationships waxing and waning, and sometimes ending, is not a shocker. The path we walked, hand in hand, with a special someone, forks out, and we find ourselves once again alone, at least for a while. And that alone time can be valuable, savored, maximized in ways that make us ready for the return of that someone, or a new someone, or ones!
And so it is not remarkable, though certainly noteworthy, that we share news of Lolita’s breakup with Lizard King. After a roller coaster five years, it seems Lolita has finally made the break with her n’er do well lover. It seems at first thought amazing that she held it together with this dude for so long. After all, the guy works sporadic odd jobs, showers occasionally, has no sense of time, commitment or obligation, and is just generally a poster child for A.D.D.
But upon reflection, we can understand the draw the Lizard had on our Vampiress. At the end of the day, Lizard King was nothing if not easy. He represented for Lolita the permission to cut loose, to shirk for a few hours now and then the creative yoke. She might of an evening turn down the volume on that voice in her head that hounded her. “There is work to be done. No time now for play!”
But there was a price to entering Lizard’s world and joining his revel. That price was self-negation of the most damaging variety. Don’t be clever. He won’t get it. Don’t share an idea. It will bore him. Don’t speak of current events. He doesn’t follow the news.
Lolita finally understood fully that relationship with Lizard required an extreme self-compression, a sort of self-reduction to the least common denominator. There was a growing realization that the permission to relax which her boyfriend represented would be best cultivated internally. When she reached the point where she could rely on herself to turn on and off the work pressure, her relationship time could be available for someone who not only could relax with her, and offer some creature comfort, but could also perhaps offer a creative thought, a bit of stimulating conversation, a shared interest or passion.
It is difficult to say just what prompted our Girl to finally make a clean break with Lizard King. We know she has been busy over at the website preparing for promotion and sale the expanded collection of Victorian period photos by Carney’s Photo Colourizations of Australia. The set is a rich portraiture of sweet children, loving couples, distinguished gentlemen. In fact Lolita began acquiring prints of these pictures for a personal collection. In retrospect, her process of re-assessing and finally ending the Lizard relationship was reinforced by the positive values conveyed to her in the portrait images. Her emotional alignment with these traditional old photos was supporting her own re-alignment with important aspects of self which had been too long shelved.
One very sweet old photo of a young married couple, beautifully colorized, has been a favorite of Lolita and she wanted us to share with you here.